Is there love at first sight? Yeah, there is :-) !

You know the feeling when You see a profile in Tinder and You think: "This might be something"? Then You meet the guy and You are like "I should stop dating, I have so much more important things to do in my life."

It´s totally different than the feeling that I´ve got on Tuesday evening when I found his profile. It was so intense, almost demanding feeling. It was something which was between the lines. I just immediately knew that "Oh my, this guy has to also press "heart", we have to meet!" And I was so relieved after pressing when Tinder announced, that we are a match.
I have so special profile that I want the other one really read it well and only after reading contact me. And I have package for trying to keep things working while the other one doesn´t even know whether he likes me or not (I mean I can be pushy sometimes). So I forced myself to be old-fashioned and wait for his answer. I promised myself that I can send a message after two days.
When I woke up next morning there was a message waiting for me. We didn´t chat any trivialities. I knew that I just want to meet. I think he knew it too. He is a climber like I, so it was obvious for me that we´d gonna go climbing. Is it obvious that climbers wanna just climb? Climbing just is sooo awesome! Sorry, but non-climber would be something I could maybe not handle anymore (even when I haven´t been able to climb so much in this summer). On Thursday morning he had given me his number and as it was the most beautiful summer day, I called him and asked if we should benefit that, and we made a date after his work. We click as a nano second on the phone. Could have talked for hours, but I had hurry.

We met at a gas station near the Jaanankallio (27 Crags) and it just happened. We hugged each others like we would have always done, it felt so warm and comfortable. And as we started talking it felt immediately like I´ve known this guy much longer. It felt so easy, relaxed, we laughed, we found so many similarities. Just after meeting, after 5 minutes we found ourselves telling the hardships of our journeys and how they have grown us, giving the attitude we now appreciate. I´ve never ever before told many of those things so soon. But of course I´ve also done lately a lot of work letting go the shame and guilt out of my presence with the mental difficulties and so on.
It was hard even leave the gas station with separate cars as the connection was so intense, but we had to push ourselves to stop talking as we wanted to head to the crag.
The babbling continued as soon as we arrived at Jaanis. And it went on and on.
I remember when I was a 23-old-girl and I had divorced two years earlier and had just broke up with my boyfriend. I wondered how I ever again have energy to share my whole story with someone new. It´s not a problem even when the story is now so much longer. When You meet the right person, You just want to hear every tiny detail of his life and personality, and are eager to tell Yours. But there´s so much to talk about! Over five hours talking and laughing at the crag. I might also cried a couple of times, if I remember right. I felt so secure and the connection was so deep and the guy so warm, kind and understanding that I could easily let him deeper than I could ever imagine.
I have experienced so much, have so many fears and wounds due to intimate relationships that in latest month it´s been horrifying to understand how many deep fears I have in this area. But I felt absolutely no fear with him. Just amazed how close someone can feel after couple of hours.
How relaxed and open a person can be with the other, almost total stranger, but who feels so familiar.

One of the most important things in intimate relationship (along with total honesty, openness, loyalty, respect, love and sex) is common sense of humor. Life is supposed to be funny!
I call myself as a tiny hobbit as I´m only 154 cm/60 inches short. There grew grass which was taller than I and he told me that I´m not even as tall as grass ;-) He really makes me laugh :-D ! The Neiti Kesäheinä (Miss Summergrass) as famous Finnish poet Eino Leino once has written.
After climbing we went to Piilolampi which is next to Jaanankallio. Just walk past Piilolampi boulder crags and You´ll find a beautiful little pond and fire place (okay, okay, we missed it first, because were so concentrated to each others, saw no signs which actually were quite big ;-) As we walked there we were already planning where to go on his holiday which was just starting. And laughed how bizarre first date it was, to plan the future together after just meeting! But neither of us couldn´t imagine that we would just split up after finally meeting each other, it was so obvious!
I went swimming and he made the fire. There was a young couple cuddling in the pier as we arrived and the atmosphere could have not been more romantic.
When we were still climbing my daughter had called and asked permission to stay sleep-over with a friend. And I had promised to pick up my son as he was whole day with his friend at the other city. I was very relieved when he called and wanted also to stay sleep-over with a friend. No hurry, no obligations anymore.
Young lovers had left. There was only two of us by the camp fire talking and talking and talking, holding hands and enjoying.
I´ve been sometimes quite harsh and too quick with men. I think it might be because different kinds of sexual abused I´ve experienced. After having so many difficulties I´ve made myself a little rough and have been running too fast to the physical level. But he made me soft and sensitive. I felt like I was 14-year-old girl at that time when I was with my very first boyfriend. There was no hurry. We´d known for 8 hours before we kissed first time. Oh, how good it felt. How I had missed that feeling! I have just in latest month realized how much I really miss someone to be by my side. The feeling to be loved, and love the other. I have so many friends that I love so much. But it never is the same.
I have realized how my skin nearly yells to be touched. And I almost purr when he touches me. He says it´s so visible. How I melt under his soft loving touch.

It was a couple of weeks ago as I laid down in my yard and watched the clouds in the sky. I saw when two clouds were approaching each other. They really prepared themselves to that. They shaped themselves so that their sides were just in the right shape to fit to each other. They send some water particles to each other so the meeting wasn´t rough. It went so smoothly and looked so amazingly universally perfectly planned that I even had a physical-mental-soul nirvana orgasm while lying there and understanding some very deep law of universe.
The clouds seemed like they had really met a lot earlier. Like they had said "Hello!" in the sky even being a far away each other and made a connection in that moment. And all the approaching would have been preparing to meeting themselves. They had send some invisible messages to each other.

I feel like this with this My Mister Right Now (fortunately there can be many Mister Rights in our lives, and it´s not the failure if we brake up after not being the right ones for each others anymore).
He had just a year ago gone to a climbing course. Just bought a caravan (I think that´s he who send me thoughts about the caravan travelling, I´ve just a couple of weeks ago realized that I wanna do that). There are many big things in our journey that combine us, but there are extraordinary many these tiny little details that are my signs for that we´ve been prepared ourselves to meet each other.

Our first dates lasted 12 hours as he came to my house and we talked almost all night long. I was happy to stay and sleep long dreams, he went to work. Yesterday he picked me up and we went to his summer cottage for a mid-night tea and hot chocolate. (I asked a permission for that from my teens, wanted not yet to introduce him to them). Third date are maybe gonna last for three-day-long dates as we are heading to Powerpark as we´ve heard it´s the best amusement park in Finland and all four of our kids have been there but we haven´t. Really it´s irrelevant what to do together as long as we can be together, ´cause it just feels sooo good <3
It´s so incredible that when You meet the Mister Right Now, it really feels You´ve known for ages. You can´t believe it happened just two days ago. And I refuse to think it happened two days ago. We´ve been connected a long time, that´s for sure. Our souls have communicated in very deep level. Prepared ourselves. I don´t have to think whether it´s stupid to go for a trip with the guy I´ve just met. I´ve known him much longer! And I´m so grateful we finally met physically. That all the hard work that I´ve done with my emotional blocks, those that had to be open before I was ready (I even just had my periods two weeks earlier than usual because my intimate relationship process was so intense), beared fruit.

No matter how long it lasts. I´m gonna enjoy every second I´ve got. I´m now excited and madly happy as a 14-year-old but as realistic as twice divorced 41-year-old and it´s incredibly great combination!
A camp fire near the water, dinner coming,
next to the guy who makes my head spinning and butterflies flying.
Dreams came true <3