Why are we here? And how the mood disorders help in our journey?

I think we are here to experience. To feel. To smell, to hear, to touch. All those things that we can do when we have a human body. The spirits of souls can´t do that. Of course our body also makes many obstacles to us. We have to eat and have a proper place to sleep. We feel cold and hot. We have to find a way to get food and find a shelter. As we were souls without a body, we could just think about something, wish it would be there and in a second it appeared to us.
As we get out of the ego and get more and more understanding of inner self, very deep feeling and connection with our souls, it sometimes frustrates like hell to be in the body. We remember the easiness of being only a soul. The paradise of it.

Sometimes the connection with our soul can go very far. We are more in our soul than in our body and like forget our bodies. We don´t eat that much. We don´t sleep that much. We feel high. We feel freedom, joy and love and have an understanding of our limitless capabilities. We feel connected to everything else. We feel oneness. The ego collapses more or less. We are one with the planet of love. We see this world of dualities just as a game, as a beautiful play. It´s like being in paradise. Sometimes it lasts only a brief moment. Like first times of mine. But we want that back, of course. Because we enjoy that state so much and we don´t probably quite yet understand the consequences which is that we have to learn to balance the body, mind and soul or we have a problem.
In western medical system that state is called hypomania (the milder version) or mania (the bigger connection with soul and forgetting all the limits of the body and mind, can be very unstable condition and diagnosed as a psychosis). I´ve been diagnosed with hypomania a couple of times and I´ve been investigating the condition as I nowadays can get to the state of my soul and watch the others (mind and soul) there.

It´s so cool when it goes to extremes and You understand what´s happening without any fear! Last autumn I had a hypomania after breaking up with my boyfriend (every life change cause me some kind of unstable period (had them like 8-10), I´m learning, I´m learning..). After sleeping one month only 4-5 hours per night and having waited my body to react someway so I could leave in sick-leave (okay, okay, what an idiot, I should search for help a lot earlier! But maybe I really had to experience this, otherwise I couldn´t quite understand it and share it with You guys), it finally happened. It was remarkable awesome to be steadily in my soul (which is a place of peace, love and happiness) and just watch what is happening. First my body collapsed. I trembled, had an awful pain in my chest, trouble of breathing, dizziness and nausea.
After about a day, my mind went down too. All symptoms of depression. Terrible tiredness, guilt, shame, feeling blue, not interested in anything even in living at all. At that time I was already in sick-leave and got help from my doctor and friends.
I´m very glad that the spiritual work that I´ve been doing for 20 years are finally showing a great success. Because there´s always pain in life whether You a HSP (highly sensitive person) and bipolar like me or not. But it doesn´t go to misery if You have an understanding of life and it´s beautiful colors and shades.
I´m very grateful for everything in my life and my depressions and hypomanias have been one of the greatest teachers of mine.

So in hypomania/mania it´s easy to forget that You are an human being made of bones, flesh, blood etc., and that You really have to eat and sleep, and sometimes have a medication for it. If You have one, please search for help of an doctor! (I have a great psychiatrist.) But also search the ways to come into Your body, to have a better connection with it, to ground Yourself. Like by eating root vegetable, maca, ginger, onion and stuff like that are the most recommendable. Also meat (and other food made of animals, like dairy products) lowers extremely well energy levels, so it´s the quickest way to ground Yourself if You are feeling too high. Although for ethical and ecological reasons not so recommendable and I take it for medicine only in emergency cases (and sometimes when my body and mind just asks for it, listen them, they are Your wise gurus :-) ).
Other grounding methods are for instance exercising (jogging is very grounding), touching Your body, hitting Your feets on the ground or the floor, being in nature (especially on the rock), rock climbing, grounding meditations, mindfullness and yoga, appreciating Your body in any ways You find out.

When feeling high or even having a hypomania (never been in mania, I don´t know if it works there, maybe it´s too far from reality?), You can figure out many things that Your soul has come to do here in this beautiful planet.
I think this is a big play, some might say even a circus, yes it is. Very enjoyable and amusing when You are capable of seeing the gorgeous dance of light and shadow. First You are gonna recognize them in Yourself. Admitting that anything You see in the outer world actually is in You too. There´s no other way it might be because we are the one. Everything is in You and everything which is in You, You´ll also find in outer world. It´s incredible and beautiful.
Worst thing is, that You cannot blame others anymore. And the beauty is that because You cannot blame others anymore, You can fix everything just by fixing Your own attitude. Sometimes it means that You have to release something, move forward. But not blaming the other, rather than having a deep knowing that Your way is asking You to leave and grow. And You can be so sooo grateful for all experiences You´ve had, both the painful and joyful parts of Your common journey. You see every experience as an lecture and a guru of that moment. Everything is our guru/teacher/god/glossy pink unicorn pony (or whatever makes You happy), and the biggest guru is inside us. We are our own wise gurus. You just have to open Yourself to hear the advices. I don´t know is that something they call schizophrenia (to hear voices). If so, I should have at least one more diagnosis in my list. Who has said the wisest are the craziest? Oh, I just did ;-)

The depressions of mine have also been the great teachers, because they have stopped me if I´m not listening my inner voice. They have helped me to find the connection with my soul (in depression connection has usually broken for some reason). In depression we are in lower energy level so it asks us to find the ways to rise our energies. By eating vegetarian and organic food, by doing something which is Your passion, by meeting beloved friends and laugh, by searching Your inner worlds, by dancing or other creative movement, singing, playing, being silly and free of demands. Everybody finds his/her own way in some point. Depressions have many lectures, stopping us is just the one main part of it. When stopped, starts the actual lessons.

When I´ve found my own truth behind the scenes, it´s very enjoyable just watch how every tine detail just fall into it´s own place. Like when I´m hoping something to happen and suddenly meet somebody who tells me the way to get it. Like recommends some book about it even when I have not mentioned anything and so on... that happens for me every day and still it´s always so magical, I love it!

We are here to experience and find our own life path and walk it without shame just like shining superstars, as we all are. Sometimes stumbling (and knowing that we are human and make needed "mistakes"), sometimes shining, but when connected to our souls we can walk it always smiling, even when crying.
And we are here to make this beautiful world even more awesome place by using Your own gifts, love and compassion <3

Namaste You Superstars <3 !

Julia Kuu
Helping light artist Toni Luode to make his "Suomi100 Sibelius monument -light artwork".
Welcome to the opening seremony 12th August 21pm in Gustavelund, Tuusula´s lake:
Facebook-events: Release of Sibelius light artwork
I´ll be also there reading one poem of Aleksis Kivi.